Carlton F.

REPRESENT JUSTICE X JR: TEHACHAPI

I want to express myself a little bit kind of what I've been feeling today, a little bit differently, so nervous, but I'm gonna just do what I'm feeling and go from there. My name is Carlton Fields. I've been incarcerated for the last nine years. Unfortunately, I had a corporal injury on a spouse and I got a lot of time for that because I didn't take a deal. At that time I came from a very religious family where I was involved in church, involved in choir, very involved in the church, but unlike the rest of the children in my family I got heavily addicted to drugs and got caught up in the street life. So I take total responsibility for my actions, my abusive behaviors, and I've learned since I've been away from my family, my daughter, have a 21-year-old daughter. When I left she was 12 and she's heartbroken and my family I've learned that you can't force people to love you.

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I think I was, I had some self-esteem issues. My issues are probably a little bit different than others that you probably have seen here, maybe not, but I think I’ve grown a lot and I’ve learned to appreciate and respect others and myself. And, what I wanted to do since they told me before that, we just kind of talk and share, when I was on the streets, i was a worship leader, so I would sing.

So oftentimes to get me through the hardest times in here to feel human and to feel a part of my upbringing I sing to just feel that way. So I just want to sing. I’ve been kind of humming all day kind of practicing because everything that’s been going on. You guys have really just made us feel human, made it feel like somebody cared and gave us a little bit of hope so here it goes.
It says…

The potter
Saw a vessel
That had been broken
By the wind and the rain

Oh but he saw it
With so much compassion,
He cared enough to put it
Back together again

And oh, oh I, oh I
I was that broken vessel y’all
Oh, that no one
That no one thought was any good

But I cried oh Lord
You are the potter
Lord and I
I am just the clay

Can you make over again?
Please
Today

And Jesus
He picked up all the pieces
Of my broken heart
Of my broken heart

And that day
Then he
He made me
He turned me into a brand new vessel
Yes he did
And revived my soul again

Basically, that’s the most, you know, humanizing thing I could think to you know to share today. So that was it. Thank you.